Anger Management

Today as never before, we have become a society of very angry people who have been fed the myth that to back down from a fight or slight makes them wimpy or even worse, a coward. Society has taught us to stand up for ourselves, to react when we are angry, and to get back at whoever made us angry in the first place. The let it all out way of living has created a society of people who need help in the form of anger management so that we can become the polite society we once were.

The signs of an angry person vary from screaming, cursing, and hitting to the repressed anger of resentment or depression. The first type of anger is very easy to recognize. If we see a person yelling at someone else, we know that the yeller is angry for some reason. Sometimes, the anger comes from a valid place but it is still out of place. What does yelling ever solve? A very good way to deflate an angry tone is to answer in a very quiet passionless voice. Remember, a kind word turns away wrath. This type response may not work the first time but try the sweet, friendly voice until you get the reaction you want. Generally, the angry person will lower his voice an octave more even if he is still angry. That is an almost automatic response to your friendliness. Then you can answer with an even softer and nicer tone. You get the idea. If you react to screaming with screaming, you will only escalate the problem which is something you don’t want to do. If simply reacting to anger with kindness stops the tickingbomb of anger, you are always better off.

Just like with the yeller, you can lessen someone’s cursing with using the same mild voice. Even if you don’t feel the least bit apologetic and see no reason for an apology, you can still say that you are very sorry for offending the person who is cursing. Saying this in a sincere manner will take the angry person off guard. He may even look at you as if you just came off the spaceship from Mars. Keep the same friendly, apologetic tone until the anger is over. At this time you should be able to rectify whatever the problem is whether it is large or small.

If someone is so angry that he has resorted to violence, get away as soon as possible and call someone in authority. Kind words will more than likely not work if an angry person has resorted to violence. If you can’t get away, try to defuse the situation using the quiet, kind and very apologetic voice. Hopefully, if you have already used this method, most angry people won’t stay so angry that they resort to violence.

Repressed anger easily turns into depression. Many people feel that depression is anger turned inward. If you suffer from depression because of slights or hurts from the past or even the present, it is never too late to seek professional help in the form of talk therapy or antidepressants. Depression and resentment ruin lives. Rarely can a person suffering from deep depression help himself. Once the depressed person realizes that he is helpless, he should immediately seek help. Recovering is a long process but definitely worth the work.

Anger is everywhere. We see it on television, movies, in the supermarket, the doctor’s office and even in church. No one wants to be around an angry person. At some level we all just want to be loved. Learning how to cope with angry people might even help these people learn how to cope with anger and learn how their anger affects other people.

Copyright 2007 Janice D. Sterling - All Rights Reserved

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