Anger Management in Children

As children grow up, they have to learn their place in the world. As infants and babies, they are certainly the center of the universe. Unless there are siblings in the house, they remain this way until they start to school or a sibling is introduced into the home. At this point, many children start to experience anger management problems.

Anger management in children is definitely an ongoing process. Don’t be fooled by the great results you get when working with your child a few times. The anger will come again as the child grows older or even the next week. If the anger becomes a problem when the child enters school, he simply may not have learned to share. Many pre-school children have their own toys, their own rooms, and are not used to sharing anything. They have been the center of their parents’ universe for so long that they have problems coping with sharing with another child. One great way keep this from ever becoming a problem is to make sure that your child has plenty of play dates with other children at your own home. Each time your child shares one of his toys with his play friend, reward him with praise. Praise is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. If he frets with the other child taking his toy and cries, you might say that you are so proud that he is learning to share his toys. Make any situation as positive as possible. Saying bad boy is not a way to help prevent anger. Being positive will finally help your child to understand that sharing is good and a way to make mommy proud.

Taking your child a few days a week to a pre-school is also a good way to prepare him for school. A very young child is fine going to pre-school a few hours a week. He will socialize with other children and learn that in order to get along with his peers he cannot pitch fits if someone else has the toy he wants. Pre-school teachers use the famous ‘time out’ for children who fret over sharing. A short time in the corner will help the child to reconsider his selfishness. If your pre-school teacher yells or resorts to name calling, find a new pre-school. Your child will only learn that when he is angry, he can yell. That is exactly what you don’t want him to learn.

If your precious center-of-the-universe, is suddenly getting a sibling, start as early as possible to get him prepared. If his play date friends have little brothers or sisters, especially infants, show him how delicate and helpless the baby is. Talk to him about his new sister or brother. Make him feel a part of the process and praise him when he says he will share his toys. Obviously, this will be a long way off but you can’t start too early in explaining the importance of sharing and not being selfish. By the time the new baby arrives, be sure to have some little presents for your older child. People will be coming by with presents and many will bring a gift for both children. That is really sensitive and sweet. If that doesn’t happen, help your child to understand that new babies need many more things that big boys or girls. Every once and a while give him one of those small gifts you have already purchased. Make sure that he doesn’t think you are paying him for being a good boy. Just let him know he is loved and appreciated. After all that’s what we all want.

Children who become angry often learn this trait from their parents. Please lead by example. When you feel angry with yourself, your child, or your husband, count to ten and think of the example you are showing to your children. Angry parents raise angry kids. Stop the cycle now.

Copyright 2007 Janice D. Sterling - All Rights Reserved

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